Are You Insecure? Get Result Instantly

People who have healthy self-esteem cope with life's problems better than people whose self-esteem is poor. Furthermore, they don't tend to get themselves into situations that are damaging or difficult. 

In fact, many of society's pressing problems - such as alcohol or drug abuse, unhappy marriages and violent relationships - would be vastly improved if more adults rated themselves more highly.

Interestingly, a lot of men and women who appear confident actually have quite low self-esteem. For example, the recent Celebrity Big Brother demonstrated only too clearly how 'stars' who have the confidence to present television shows Often feel unsure - deep down - about who they are, and what their value is. 

And of course the late Princess of Wales who appeared poised and confident on the outside clearly had dreadful self-esteem - even though she was globally adored.

Self-esteem is all about how you estimate yourself. And the fact is that if you don't rate yourself very highly, others won't either.

So have a go at testing your own self-esteem - and if it's not too good, vow to do something about it.

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 How to select answer: 4-Never, 3-Occasionally, 2-Often, 1-Always

Count how many of each and multiply by its number.FX: My Score is 12 Never X 4 = 48 (+) 8 Occasionally X 3= 24, Total is 48+24=72 

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1. Do you dislike yourself?
2. Do you think that you're inadequate compared with others?
3. Are you shy?
4. Are you lacking in confidence?
5. Do you find it difficult to express yourself in company?
6. Do you feel you don't deserve to be happy? 
7. Do you feel that other people tend to dislike you?
8. Do you feel that your opinion doesn't matter to other people?
9. If you do well at something, do you tend to put it down to luck, rather than feel pleased with yourself? 
10. If you do badly at something, do you believe it's all your fault? 
11. Would your feelings about yourself stop you from seeking promotion? 
Never Occasionally Often Always
12. Do your feel you must Always be a follower, rather than a leader?
13. 'It's only human to make mistakes'. Would you generally disagree with his statement?
14. If YOU make a mistake, do you reject the idea that you're only human and feel furious and unhappy with yourself?
15. Do you find it hard to say 'NO'?
16. Do you find it hard to take criticism from other people? 
17. Do you find it hard to criticise someone to their face?
18. If you feel angry, or hard-done-by, do you tend to keep quiet about it initially, but later erupt and really lose your temper? 
19. In bad relationships do you find it difficult to pluck up the courage to leave? 
20. Do you generally agree with the following statement: 'It is impossible for me to be happy if I'm not in a relationship?' 

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Results:

Below 39: The chances are that you find life very difficult indeed. You may well have a number of failed relationships behind you. Perhaps you've had problems with anger, or jealousy that have caused a split with a partner. You may also have found that your working life has been extremely disappointing. But you can change things. Read the 'Self- esteem' article and try to do the exercises we recommend. If you do all of these, you'll begin to see yourself in a new light. It will also help you to read the books we've suggested. You will certainly benefit from some form of counselling. And it's worth trying to get this on the NHS. So ask your GP if he or she can refer you for some professional help. Finally, many people with this kind of score are actually seriously depressed. Do you think this could apply to you? If you think it might, please discuss this with your doctor as treatments and help are available.

40-69: Good self-esteem on the whole. But you sometimes fail to believe in yourself enough. Remember you are a special and unique person. Many people in this category feel confident in what they do for a living and get a lot of affirmation from that. It's important, however, to feel good about who you ARE, not just about what you do. Have a think about this.

 

70-78: You have excellent self-esteem. You may well have had problems with valuing yourself in the past, but you have become a confident person with a proper appreciation of yourself. You are almost certainly someone who other people like and admire, and your belief in yourself helps you to make good friendships and relationships. However, your inner confidence also enables you to feel happy and relaxed when you are alone. (My Score is 74)

 

Above 79: If you've answered entirely honestly then I'm afraid you are too smug for your own good! In fact, there's a danger that some people find you insufferable. It's great to value yourself highly, but you seem to think you're perfect. And none of us are that.